Memory and Remembrance: The central theme revolves around the speaker's desire to be remembered after death, highlighting the human need for lasting impact and connection. The poem explores the fragility of memory and the tension between a personal wish for remembrance and the practicalities of grief for the living. It questions how long and how intensely one can expect to be held in another's memory.
Death and Mortality: The poem confronts the inevitability of death from the perspective of the dying, offering a poignant reflection on the transition from life to an unknown 'silent land'. It explores the emotional preparation for one's own demise and the impact it will have on loved ones. The speaker's calm acceptance of death, particularly in the sestet, is a significant aspect of this theme.
Love and Selflessness: Initially, the speaker's request for remembrance seems self-focused, but it evolves into a profound act of selfless love. By suggesting that her beloved should 'forget and smile / Than that you should remember and be sad', the speaker prioritizes the happiness of the living over her own desire for perpetual memory. This transformation underscores the depth and purity of her affection.
Grief and Acceptance: The poem implicitly addresses the process of grief, both for the dying and for those left behind. The speaker's journey from a plea to an offering of solace demonstrates an acceptance of her fate and a compassionate understanding of the beloved's future sorrow. It suggests that true love seeks to alleviate suffering, even at the cost of personal remembrance.
Repetition: The insistent repetition of 'Remember me' in the octave emphasizes the speaker's initial plea and her deep-seated fear of being forgotten. This direct and urgent appeal establishes the emotional core of the poem. However, the repetition lessens in intensity towards the end, mirroring the speaker's fading presence and growing acceptance.
Imagery of Separation: Rossetti uses vivid imagery to convey the separation caused by death, such as 'gone far away into the silent land' and 'no more hold me by the hand'. These images evoke a sense of physical and emotional distance, making the abstract concept of death more tangible and relatable. The 'silent land' suggests a realm beyond communication and touch.
Alliteration: Alliteration, like 'hold me by the hand' and 'forget and smile', creates a subtle musicality and emphasizes the linked words. In 'hold me by the hand', it reinforces the intimacy and connection the speaker wishes to preserve. In 'forget and smile', it highlights the contrasting actions the speaker ultimately desires for her beloved.
Contrast and Juxtaposition: The poem employs strong contrasts, particularly between remembrance and forgetting, and sadness and happiness. The ultimate juxtaposition in the final lines, 'Better by far you should forget and smile / Than that you should remember and be sad', encapsulates the poem's central emotional conflict and its resolution. This contrast underscores the selfless nature of the speaker's love.
Initial Plea for Remembrance: In the octave, the speaker's primary concern is that her beloved will remember her after she is gone. She outlines the circumstances of her absence and the cessation of their physical connection, emphasizing the importance of her continued presence in his thoughts. This reflects a natural human desire to persist in the memories of loved ones.
Shift to Selfless Concern (Volta): The volta marks a pivotal shift where the speaker considers the burden that perpetual remembrance might place on her beloved. She introduces the possibility of him forgetting her 'for a while', not as a failure, but as a potential path to his peace. This demonstrates a profound empathy and a move beyond her own desires.
Prioritizing Beloved's Happiness: The sestet culminates in the speaker's ultimate selfless wish: that her beloved choose happiness over sorrow, even if that means forgetting her. This final stance reveals a love that transcends personal ego and seeks the well-being of the other above all else. It is a powerful statement about the nature of enduring affection.
Acceptance of Mortality and Grief: Through this evolution, the speaker achieves a state of acceptance regarding her own mortality and the natural process of grief. She acknowledges that sorrow is inevitable but offers a path towards healing and renewed joy for her beloved. This mature perspective transforms the poem from a lament into a testament of enduring, compassionate love.
Victorian Era and Mourning: Written in 1849 and published in 1862, 'Remember' reflects Victorian traditions of mourning, where death was a prominent theme in literature and society. However, Rossetti's poem offers a more intimate and personal perspective on death and remembrance compared to more formal elegies of the period. It delves into the psychological and emotional aspects of loss.
Rossetti's Personal Life: Christina Rossetti, a devout Anglican, often explored themes of faith, love, and death in her poetry. While the poem is not explicitly autobiographical, it resonates with the Victorian preoccupation with mortality and the spiritual implications of the afterlife. Her own experiences with illness and loss likely informed the poem's poignant tone.
Feminine Voice: The poem is notable for its strong, yet tender, feminine voice, which was significant in an era where female poets were gaining recognition. The speaker's agency in dictating the terms of her remembrance, and her ultimate selfless choice, presents a complex and powerful female perspective on love and death. It challenges passive notions of women in literature.
Ambiguity of 'Forget': Critics often debate the true meaning of 'forget' in the final lines. Is it a genuine desire for the beloved's peace, or a subtle acknowledgment of the impossibility of eternal remembrance? The ambiguity adds depth, suggesting that while the speaker wishes for happiness, the act of forgetting might still carry a bittersweet undertone. This nuance makes the poem enduringly thought-provoking.
